SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO LE

George.W.Bush

SO, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE TOUGH ENOUGH TO TRY TO LEARN ENGLISH?
<br>
<br>> > > This little treatise on the lovely language we share
<br>> > > is only for the
<br>> > > brave. It was passed on by a linguist, original
<br>> > > author unknown. Peruse
<br>> > > at your leisure, English lovers.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > Reasons why the English language is so hard to
<br>> > > learn:
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 2) The farm was used to produce produce.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more
<br>> > > refuse.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the
<br>> > > desert.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 7) Since there is no time like the present, he
<br>> > > thought it was time to
<br>> > > present the present.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 10) I did not object to the object.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to
<br>> > > row.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 13) They were too close to the door to close it.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 14) The buck does funny things when the does are
<br>> > > present.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer
<br>> > > line.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow
<br>> > > to sow.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a
<br>> > > tear.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 20) I had to subject the subject to a series of
<br>> > > tests.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > 21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
<br>> > > friend?
<br>> > >
<br>> > > Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
<br>> > > neither apple nor pine
<br>> > > in pineapple.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > English muffins weren't invented in England, nor
<br>> > > were French fries
<br>> > > invented in France.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which
<br>> > > aren't sweet, are meat.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > We take English for granted. But if we explore its
<br>> > > paradoxes, we find
<br>> > > that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
<br>> > > square and a guinea pig
<br>> > > is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is
<br>> > > it that writers
<br>> > > write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
<br>> > > and hammers don't
<br>> > > ham?
<br>> > >
<br>> > > If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
<br>> > > plural of booth beeth?
<br>> > >
<br>> > > One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One
<br>> > > index, 2 indices?
<br>> > >
<br>> > > Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
<br>> > > not one amend. If you
<br>> > > have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but
<br>> > > one of them, what do
<br>> > > you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't
<br>> > > preachers praught? If a
<br>> > > vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
<br>> > > eat?
<br>> > >
<br>> > > Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be
<br>> > > committed to an
<br>> > > asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do
<br>> > > people recite at a
<br>> > > play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send
<br>> > > cargo by ship? Have
<br>> > > noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim
<br>> > > chance and a fat
<br>> > > chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy
<br>> > > are opposites? You
<br>> > > have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in
<br>> > > which your house
<br>> > > can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a
<br>> > > form by filling it
<br>> > > out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
<br>> > > English was invented
<br>> > > by people, not computers, and it reflects the
<br>> > > creativity of the human
<br>> > > race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That
<br>> > > is why, when the
<br>> > > stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
<br>> > > are out, they are
<br>> > > invisible.
<br>> > >
<br>> > > P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick" Why do
<br>> > > we say something is
<br>> > > out of whack? What's a whack?
<br>
<br>
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