英文搞笑

Lepapillon0311

<p>much mistakes alike</p><p>u just need an eye to ...</p>

Lepapillon0311

<p><font color="#1e90ff" size="4">ANOTHER ONE</font></p><p></p><p></p><p>One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin. <br /><br />Girl: Father, I have sinned. <br /><br />Preacher: What did you do, little girl? <br /><br />Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch. <br /><br />Preacher: Why? What did he do to you? <br /><br />Girl: He touched my breast. <br /><br />Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.) <br /><br />Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes. <br /><br />Preacher: That's no reason to call him that. <br /><br />Girl: But he also took off my cloth. <br /><br />Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.) <br /><br />Girl: Yes, that's what he did. <br /><br />Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that. <br /><br />Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what... <br /><br />Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what) <br /><br /><br />Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did... <br /><br />Preacher: My dear girl, thats still no reason to call him a... <br /><br />Girl: But he had AIDS!! <br /><br />Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!</p>

piaozyz

好笑吗？小儿科

Lepapillon0311

<p>A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. </p><p>When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. </p><p>The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave <br />15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" </p><p>The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath." </p><p>The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" </p><p>The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it in my eyes." </p><p>************************************************** </p><p>One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. </p><p>*********************************************** </p><p>A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" <br />The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" <br />"Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out." <br />*********************************************** </p><p>Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.</p><p><br />*********************************************** <br /></p><p>A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters: <br />' C Z W I X N O S T A C Z' </p><p>"Can you read this?" the optician asked "Read it?" the Polish immigrant replied, "I know the guy."</p>