考博英语：考博英语作文批改范例

嘎嘣脆

it won't be dark and hopeless until  the  light of  love begin （主谓一致，begins）to burn which appears more significant in darker place. （这个定语从句用在这里不太合适，可以改成一个句子，love is like light which is brighter in darker places.）I consider it may be （这部分删掉）what the picture want（注意主谓一致，wants） to tell us. 6T~-t0x  
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During the gray period when all the people on the earth suffered SARS,scientists and doctors  devote （既然是在说以前的事情就用过去时）themslves  and  their love to curing the patients , securing the health （The healthy people） and   arming  against  the  evil （plague）.They're exactly respectable.After the earthquake came to attack （直接用attacked） Sichuan Province,all the people there were in the  darkness  which is painful  and  awful （这里的定语从句用的不好，可以删掉。）.Love from other places in China and from other nations of the world  arrived.  The people suffered the agony（删掉，这是多余的部分，直接用suffer from….） from the catastrophe  were  inspired. It's love as a light who （变成强调句型，这里改成that beats ….）beat the darkness.  RGiHn{R  
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When the scientists and the doctors tribute （contributed）their help,love appears;when the kindness denote their money and  commodities,love appears;when we make a contribution to give others a hand,love appears.（这一段可以看成是对上一段的一个总结，用的还是上面的例子，所以还是用过去式较好。） mkq{RNix  
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考博英语作文点评：5-6分 K`%"WWDt  
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